I love my dear husband (DH) very much. However, sometimes I cannot stop myself from hurting him. As it is, I am a very private and introvert person. I do not mind helping and be friendly with people, but I am a hermit when anything or any issue touches my personal things or space.
Last Friday, I have a house guest who is supposed to stay at our home for a month. I was already having nightmare even before she bought her air ticket. A check in the internet asked me to treat her like how I treat other house guest, but how do I do it when she is unpredictable? Upon arrival, her announcement of her intention to stay for a year almost gave me a heart attack!
Being a bad host, I was already feeling apprehensive after one night having her in our house. She is staying in the room where DH put his clothes. After one night, she took all of DH's empty clothes hangers and claimed them as her own. Who is to be blamed except for myself who fell behind in my ironing. She also took all my photo frames and dumped them out of the room and removing my plant, replacing it with her own things. So I took my stand the next morning by moving the plant back to its original place and put my photos in the store room.
As my guest tried to make herself comfortable and claimed the house as her own, I tried not to voice my discomfort to DH. Especially when this week is his busy week and most of all, she is his first love. Like it or not, one thing both of us have in common is we love him and he loves us. And the similarity ends there. Maybe the conflict or rather discomfort between myself and my house guest stem from our common trait.
Unfortunately all my restraint came to a halt when I told her to go stay at her daughter's house. She thought I tried to chase her away, of course I am, but I did not lie when I told her that her daughter invited her to stay. I do not know why she preferred to stay with us than her daughter even though our relationship is nothing to talk about. Anyway she told DH about it, hoping to expose my lie. I am blessed that her daughter called today to extend her invitation again. However, she agreed to stay there only for a few days, as she wants to come back and reclaim my home, haha.
I am ashamed to say that I failed not to involve DH in my vendetta. When his first love put her things into my needlework box, I immediately told her not to put her things in my house as I do not have enough storage space and I need to move around frequently. As I am always the only one who are packing our things, I could not afford to let her keep her things at my home. Furthermore, her daughter has bought a house and reserve a room for her. THAT should be her house.
On top of that I asked her to keep the scissors that she took from my kitchen. It being a kitchen scissors are rendered unsuitable to be used in the kitchen again after she took it to cut her things which are not of food items. I told her I would just buy a new scissors for my kitchen.
Maybe the communications that I had with her offended her that she decided not to come home the next day until DH is home. I do not know if she did it on purpose to spite me but she claimed that she forgot to bring the door access card and her mobile phone. As DH needed to work till midnight, she stayed out till he was home. It made me so worried that I have no other choice but to send a message to DH at his office and tell him about our fallout.
When DH brought her home at midnight, I just stayed in the room for not wanting to see her. At the same time, I was really, really ashamed to face DH for putting him in a difficult position again, even though she will only be visiting for a month. There and then, I decided not to communicate with her again. I think non-communication is better than miscommunication.
Now that she has gone to her daughter's house for a few days, I have time to think through what has been going on for the past few days. Maybe it is just me and my personality that is preventing me from having a good relationship with her. As of today, I am a very happy and contented person, except for this area of my life.
Guess I have to psycho myself to accept my fate and accept her into my life, as tough as it is. I should accept the fact that by loving DH and choosing him as my life partner, I have to also accept what comes together as a package. And to acknowledge that without her, there will not be him. Of course, bearing in mind, he can afford to give me up anytime in favour of his first love. And I cannot afford this. My life is already too much intertwined and revolves around him to be separated from him.
Hmm, maybe I should start reading the Book of Ruth for more inspiration and motivation to overcome this part of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment