What Anti-Social?

We, as adults, need to take our time to warm up to a new friendship. We need to access if it is safe to open ourselves to a new friend. We need to build a level of trust from zilch. And this takes time. A day, a week, a month, a year. Even when we get to know our neighbours, we will smile at each other for a long time before feeling comfortable enough to talk and be friends.

It is amazing to see our children do not have this issue with their new found friends. Even a relatively shy child quickly warms up to their new friends and be comfortable enough to play in each others' house. They do not have problem deciphering different accent from different countries. They do not have any problem with their friends' skin colours. They do not have any problem with anything, as long as everyone in the group enjoy playing together amiably.

I believe we behaved the same when we were young. So, how and when exactly did we start to shield ourselves from having a fun time with our new friends? Was it the betrayal that we faced as we walk our life's journey? Was it the humiliation that we face from some untactful children? Can we revert to our childhood attitude in getting to know new friends?

Will our children be like us when they grow up? Will they also shed their easy-going mentality and build a wall around themselves when they are getting to know new friends? Just hope that they will enjoy this carefree attitude as long as possible before abandoning their cheerful childishness to be a boring adult.

As for me, maybe I need to wait until I'm in my old age to be like a child again....

Vital Protection

Death and tax is inevitable in our world. In this modern world, another thing is a must. Insurance. We need life and medical insurance once we are born. Not to mention personal and travel insurance. When we start school, the school will send a personal insurance form to the parents to fill up. When we buy a transport, we need the motor insurance, be it basic or comprehensive. When we buy a house, we need fire insurance. When we ship our cargo, we need insurance. When we travel, we need insurance. Insurance, insurance and more insurance.

Try as we might, we couldn't avoid getting insurance protection in our life. What makes it a turn off is when the insurance agents representing different insurance companies will, without fail, start knocking at your doorstep when they realize there is a new potential business. Once you are pregnant, even before the baby is born, the agents start to show their interest in you. At the moment, I already have three potential insurance proposal from three different insurance companies. And my baby is due only in November!

Seem like what I can do at the moment is to delay and reject those proposals, at least until my baby is born. As we have decided to get the insurance from our uncle, I hope to push the heavy responsibility of rejecting people to dear hubby, haha. Seem like I still need to learn to say no to people.

Okay, so the next thing to learn is to say "No"! And that is if my social circle is big enough for me to do that....

Two Sides Of A Coin

This morning, on the way to airport, M and I were commenting how our Korean neighbour is willing to uproot her whole family and relocate to our country without any base or existing business or employment here. They even bought a property here to stay. I was wondering what is in our country that has attracted foreigners to base here when our own people keep criticizing our own homeland and are looking forward to relocate to other country.

After much pondering, we decided that the pull factor of our dear country are the relative lower cost of living compared to other countries. If you are considerably comfortable in the finance side, you will be living quite comfortably in our country. The countrymen's somewhat slower pace of living is also a pull factor for those who want a relatively stress-free life. Somehow, there is a lack of urgency in almost everything that is being done in our country.

On top of that, the relative competitiveness of our countrymen makes other adventurous entrepreneur to venture into our country. It actually creates opportunity for these entrepreneurs to build a good base and business in our country. This is discounting the fact that our country is full of red tapes and somewhat lukewarm responsiveness from all quarters involved in setting up a business.

However, being a non-competitive nation is also a double-edged sword that push visitors and tourists away. When we were queuing to get our breakfast at one of the airport's fast food outlets, we waited for more than 15 minutes for our turn. The person behind us kept shouting that he has a flight to catch and he has waited 10 minutes without any progress in waiting time.

Ignoring our impatient stare, the front-line staff kept serving the first person at the counter. I don't know if they were having difficulty understanding English, but there seemed to be a communication breakdown until the manager needed to step in and the second person in line helped to explain what the customer wanted. On top of the difficulty communicating with customers, the fast food outlet staff seemed to have difficulty customizing customer order and order made for eight persons were completed in ten minutes, which is a century for a fast food outlet record.

When our turn came, the man behind us has left the outlet in full frustration. Even our order was taken at a lackadaisical manner. Seemed like the persons behind the counter have just woken up from their sleep and are not energetic to work. All these attitude despite World Cup season being over. And what is worse is that this not even fasting month yet. I wonder what is the speed of service during fasting month when everyone is weak and hungry.

When people are in true hurry, they really loath to come to our country. Even we ourselves are frustrated by the efficiency of our nation. But what can we do to improve ourselves? We can't just depend on our government. Everyone have to start improving ourselves as an individual, a family unit, and subsequently only as a nation.

How many generations will it take for our nation to move forward instead of backward again?

Truth Prevails

X has a classmate, Y, who is a compulsive liar. It doesn't help that X is a compulsive lie detector. He always come home to tell me what lies Y is telling him. He always try to test whether Y tells the truth or lies by asking questions relating to the subject in question.

Today, I met Y's mother for lunch. I was contemplating to tell her about Y's behaviour. As my son is the whistle-blower, I was reluctant to tell her because I don't want Y to treat my son untowardly when being scolded by his mother for being a liar. However, all situation has its own course.

I went to fetch X before meeting Y's mother for lunch. When we were having lunch and chatting, X blurted out that Y is a liar. He told Y's mother about the lies that Y tells. What is a normal mother's reaction? What is Y's mother's reaction?

To think that she didn't have a surprised reaction at all! And she had the cheek to tell my son that her son is very innocent. That's her exact word. INNOCENT! She told my son that children tend to brag especially when they are being together with friends and they start to compare things. The spirit of 'kiasuism' always exists, even among children.

Even though I agree with her that human are 'kiasu' in nature, shouldn't we as adult, at least try to educate our children not in order to continue running in the human materialism race? The reply and reaction of the mother make me wonder if the child's behaviour and habit were learnt from his parents, either consciously or sub-consciously.

As a mother who is trying hard to teach her children good value, I wonder if I should let X continue his friendship with Y. But then again, he couldn't avoid playing together with Y if there are classmates. And this is just a tip of the iceberg. As X grows up, he will find that there a lot of different types of people in this world. Guess what I can do is just to instill the basic value in X and W, also teach and guide them to choose their friends wisely.

Hope the boy will learn and grow well as they are more exposed to different type of social experiences with or without their parents in the years to come.

Inception

inception: n. beginning.

That is the meaning of inception according to my old faithful Little Oxford Dictionary which I own since I was in my teens.

We went to watch the show of the above title yesterday. The show was about how a group of people trying to plant idea(s) into people's sub-conscious mind when they are asleep. It works like a virus where an idea, be it good or bad, begins in our mind.

I was wondering did God do the same thing in our sub-conscious mind when He created us? Through our genes and DNA? So, can we, as layman, try to plant new ideas to improve or complement whatever ideas that have existed in our genes? Can we do it when our baby is still a mere fetus in us?

If I am demure and feminine, will my baby girl (if she is a girl) be born demure and feminine? If I try to learn and do things that are intelligent, will my baby be intelligent? If I am a tight-a** mom, will my baby be tight-a** too when she is born? If I am hot-tempered, will my baby be a fiery dragon?

After the initial inception through genes and pre-natal stimulations, will the baby be hard-wired to do exactly what has been planted into her? Will we be able to nurture her against what nature has given her? I wonder....

Against all odds, I guess I better behave myself from now onwards, especially since the baby can hear me already. Act demure, control my temper, do all things nice, think all nice thoughts, be more feminine, in case she is a girl....

A Mountain To Scale

It was just last week that I almost cleared all my ironings which dated back to January 2010. I was so happy that at last I managed to conquer this big mountain of ironings.

However, I received a stack of maternity clothings from my sister which I need to wash and iron. This added to the mountain that I need to scale. It did not help that I was not feeling well with my diarrhea beginning of this week. So, this week's clothes waiting to be ironed also piled up. It was real pathetic that I need to iron my son's school uniform early in the morning just before he went to school.

Now that I am feeling better, I will attempt to scale the mountain again today. After my blogging, my baking, my game playing, my needlework, my cooking, etc. Hope I will find time to do it today. And thereafter, the aim is to iron as and when I do my washings so that my mountain of ironings will not be another Mount Everest, making it too difficult to climb.

Go, go, go! Climb! Climb! Climb!

Cost of Bragging

My two first pregnancies were way too easy. They happened when I was still very young. I did not have any pregnancy symptoms or complications. Even both labours were a piece of cake. I always tell everyone that my two boys love me very much.

Fast forward to years later, my sister started to get pregnant, followed by my two sisters-in-law. Some experienced uncomfortable pregnancies, others experienced somewhat long labour. Experiencing those six births by my relatives by the sideline, I always commented, if not bragged that my two pregnancies were the easiest.

After everyone, have given birth to their precious babies, now is my turn to have another baby. 8 years after my W was born. Amidst all the excitement, I experienced nausea, tiredness, unwanted weight gain, big big tummy, and worst of all, diarrhea in the middle of my pregnancy! Is it because I bragged too much to people about my easy pregnancies? Now I have a taste of my own medicine. I get to experience what it feels like to have an uncomfortable pregnancy.

Just hope that this is not my retribution for bragging. Just hope that the pregnancy is different because the baby is a girl. Just hope that I will have an easy labour come November.

And no more bragging from now onwards. Be humble, please.

Gain To Lose

I have just landed myself in deep soup. I did not know why and how. I did not drink too much soup. How on earth did I manage to gain another 2.5kg in just four weeks??? How am I going to stick to my target weight gain of 10kg? That seem like a dream too far off now.

To be fair to me, I did not eat that much to warrant such a tremendous weight gain. I drink a lot but I do not think that I eat a lot. So, what is the game plan to lower the weight gain for the rest of my pregnancy?

The doctor advised me to eat more fruits and vegetables, which I am, fish and meat. She also asked me to reduce my carbohydrate intake, which I can't, because I can't leave without bread. I can live without rice though. Other than that, there is nothing much that I can do , except to exercise, which is getting tougher for me as the baby is getting bigger and heavier.

Let's just hope that my weight gain for the rest of the 18 weeks will be optimal, if not minimal. Let's hope that my weight gain is due to all the water retention, like my sister-in-law's weight gain. Let's hope the baby will be born healthy.

Distorted Message

W was absent from school two Fridays ago. As usual, when he went back to school, there were a lot of homeworks to catch up on. When children at lower primary school were absent from school, not only they will get confused by the amount of homework they get. Sometimes, they have missing books which were taken by their friends or kept by their teachers. The missing books remain missing and the child was blamed for not doing his homework on his MIA book.

So, one week after the absenteeism from school, I received a note from teacher, stating that my poor boy did not do his homework. To my surprise, the choice of words were, "Recently, always did not do homework and did not pass up the book." Considering W has been attending tuition classes, where the teacher also helps with his homework, I did not expect to receive this type of message from the school teacher.

On one end, I don't really believe my son will not complete his homework as he is a responsible boy. On the other end, I was a bit disappointed if the message was true. Hiding my disappointment at my son, I tried to probe him while pretending to take bath for him. All truth exploded out when he was probed gently, without any hint of accusation. Apparently, it was a case of misunderstanding and miscommunication. I promised to meet his teacher on Monday to explain the scenario. On top of that, I wrote a note to inform the teacher of the real story.

Today, when I met the teacher and told her the whole story, she had the cheek to tell me that those were W's absent homework and not his regular homework. And she will try to look for his missing book so that he can proceed to complete his homework. And, being pregnant, I was too slow to react to her statement until I reached home. Hmm, should have told her that she was creating a tsunami by writing "ALWAYS did not do homework." How do you define ALWAYS?

First Half Of The Journey - Completed!

I am officially into the second half of my pregnancy. Today, we are 21 weeks pregnant.

The first 11 weeks went by in a blur. I was sleeping most of the days, having nausea and have a lot cravings for fruits, especially mangoes. Rice was totally out. Cooking was a torture for me. This caused hubby and the boys to have to endure somewhat moderately cooked meals.

Physically, I have been growing from the first day of pregnancy, even without much food. The bust is getting bigger, which is good, and the arms and thigh are becoming thunderous, which is bad. I outgrown all my pre-pregnancy clothes within the first trimester of the pregnancy. Once my nausea was gone and my appetite was back, I gained a whopping 2.5kg within a month! Hope that my weight gain this month will be slower.

Going into the second trimester, I am already feeling like a whale. Even though I am feeling more active and need less sleep as the days go by, I also feel clumsy and lazy to move around, and prefer to sit and face my needleworks whole day. I am doing only the minimum to keep the household functioning. Well, I intend to give in to the laziness and enjoy it for the next 20 weeks. Else, I would have less rest for at least the next 200 weeks after the baby is born, if not more.

Hope the laziness will not turn my hubby off. As it is, I myself am feeling and looking unattractive. The physical appearance may turn hubby off too but I can't help how my body change, can I? Any effort to feel and look like a chick mom is wasted when I look in the mirror and see a big whale. Any reference to me looking like an auntie, be it my look or my dressing, leave me depressed. Don't even talk about the stretch marks that are popping out everywhere throughout my body!

Despite all the physical discomfort and ugliness, I still enjoy the baby kicking me every afternoon, around 3pm, and every night, around 11pm, without fail. The kickings are less intense now, but more consistent. Hmm, I have a feeling the baby will be born at either of these times. Since the baby can hear me now, I need to remind myself to control my voice and temper when talking to the boys so that the baby will not inherit my temper, hehe.

And now, going into the second half of the pregnancy, with the whale getting bigger, we are yet to know if the baby is a boy or girl. The baby is sure a mysterious being, keeping us guessing for as long as possible. A lot of people out there predict that it's a girl, by the look of mummy's tummy. Even dear daddy thinks that it is a girl. No matter boy or girl, we already have a name for the baby. And no expectation here, baby. We will love you no matter you are a boy or a girl.

P/S: Hope we will know the secret by next Tuesday, when we go for our next check up.

Divine Intervention

God helps those who help themselves.

Will God help those who do not believe in Him?
Will God help those who only remember Him when they are in need?
Will God help those who forget Him when they are in good times?
Will God help those who do more harm than good in life?
Will God help those who do not help other fellow human beings?
Will God help those who do not help animals?
Will God help those who do not help to preserve the earth?
Will God help those who are not grateful for His help?
Will God help those who do not ask for His help?
Will God help those who criticize Him?
Will God help those who just sit around and wait for other people to help them?

Will God help an able-bodied person who begs at the entrance of the market, waiting for people to help him?

What We Learn In School

Seem like today our Mr. X learnt something new in school. Something he didn't understand. And the lesson didn't come from teacher.

When I fetched him from school, he casually mentioned that word, and with the wrong intonation. I was shocked to hear that. Trying to mask my surprise, I jokingly asked him what he meant. You should look at his face. He looked so innocent and shrugged his shoulder, saying he didn't know.

Apparently he first heard that obscene word in school. After much probing, he revealed that the word was mentioned by a classmate when they were playing football during Physical Education class.

This shocked mom immediately proceeded to explain the true meaning of that word to her innocent son. When X heard the meaning, he was amazed how his friend can just mentioned the word so casually, as if it is part of his daily vocabulary!

I told him that it is not civilized to mention that word and it is really, really obscene and disrespectful. His father asked me to tell him that it is indeed low-class to mention that word. Also, a word of warning that he will encounter lots of uncivilized words throughout his life, dealing with different type of people. It is up to him to decide whether to include any ugly words in his vocabulary. He needs to make the right choice.

Hope this mom's nag will go into his head and follow him through his life's journey!

Fail To Plan and You Plan to Fail

I used to abide by this rule when I worked. Since it has been almost a decade that I stopped working, does this rule still work in my current life?

As I am a list person, I still list down what I plan to do in my daily life. My housework, administration work (yes, I still have my paper works to do), my reading, my cooking and my needlework. On days where there are no list, I still have a rough plan on what I want to do throughout the week.

What make it difficult to complete what I have planned is my life revolves around three males in the house and they are given priorities above all things. Sometimes, surfing the internet and playing games online also deter me from completing my tasks. These make my plan take a backseat and my plan of things to do will have to wait till the following day or week or month.

Maybe I have been so used to a mundane and slow life that no amount of planning will push me to do the things that I plan. Not without much pushing and shoving. So, even if I succeed in planning, and do not plan to fail, I still fail to execute my plan!!!

So, do I continue to plan and keep a list of things to do till I do them? Even if it is a waste of time? Yes, I will continue to do it just because writing and keeping the list is therapeutic and it makes me think I am important and I have a lot of things to do, haha!

I will continue to plan even though the plan will not guarantee that I will not fail.

Waste of Time

I woke up early in the morning having lots of ideas on what to write.
I spent some time pondering and shortlisting my story.
I logged into my blog.
I wrote and edited and wrote and edited.
I ignored the warning sign that the draft was not saved automatically.
I previewed my writing and reveled in my own creativity.
At one point, I even contemplated whether to publish that controversial story.
I made my decision and clicked the published button.
Something happened.
My unsaved work went blank and unpublished!
That was the end of my story.
I was in total shock.
My creativity juice dried up for the next two days.
Help! I need inspiration to write.....