I'm a list person. I list out everything I want to do, every food I want to cook, everything I plan to buy, every book I want to read, every activity I plan to do with the boys during the school holiday. Even though I have moved away from the physical list, I'm still very much a list person in my mind.
For this school holiday, I have planned the activities that I want to do with the boys, down to the very hour. AND I don't like change. At least, I need a twenty-four hour notice. Being faced with rejection and change of plan first thing in the morning on the first day of the holidays plunge me into a foul mood. I need time to adjust and plan a new schedule for the next two days. It doesn't help that I'm being criticized of my predicament due to my own non-initiative to confirm the plan.
The woman who planned to be a wonderful mother during the two weeks of school holidays turn to a monster who growls at her children for the smallest things that they have done or have not done. "Fold blanket! Drink water! Why you spill the water?! Drink your milk!" Comments of over-reaction belted out to me was met with more contempt and the cloud of mood turns darker.
After some food managed to fill the stomach, the brain began to think more rationally. Hmm, it's okay. We'll just swap our plan for today and tomorrow. Relax, darling. The children won't notice anything missing from their activities list.
And thus, as the change in plan has been accepted with a willing heart, the green monster once again turn back into a wonderful mother! I hope....
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